It's Official

As of Saturday, Jamey is a college student. Today he actually started classes, I wonder how that went. I'll call him later, I don't want him to feel like I'm stalking him!!

Anyway, Saturday couldn't have gone smoother. Jamey lucked out getting a first floor room. His roommate seems really nice, and their room looks cozy and comfortable. Not big of course, but I think big enough. I thought we were bringing too much stuff, but everything seemed to fit in perfectly with a little room to spare. It was an absolutely beautiful day to move in - the school had a big barbecue lunch for the families on the lawn with music. I once again felt confident about this choice for Jamey. It just seems perfect for him.

You might be wondering why I'm not writing all kinds of tear-jerk anecdotes right now. Don't get me wrong, I am feeling the loss of him, and feeling it big-time. I still can't go into his room, but that's okay. I'll eventually make it in there for my usual crying jag, but not yet. Yes, I did openly cry when I kissed him goodbye. And I found it extremely hard to let go of him, and he kind of just let me hang onto him, hugging me just as hard back. The thing is, he looked so excited and happy. After years of helping move his siblings in and out of college, year after year, it's finally his turn. It's his turn to grow up; his turn to make new friends, his turn to shine. Through my own pain of missing him and watching him move on and away, I know this. And I really am happy for him, so happy for him, I can't wait to hear all of his stories (at least the ones he'll share) this now-college son of mine. And I am already counting the days to parent's weekend.

I don't care how old he is, or where he lives, he'll always be my baby. That's the way it is, my sweet baby James.

THE Last Night . . .

Til we bring Jamey to college and I am a wreck. Cool collected Debbie (questionable on any given day) does not exist. She has been replaced with frantic momaholic Debbie, crying, running around doing all kinds of things to get ready, strolling down memory lane, crying again. The anxiety level is epic. I'm pretty good at holding it together in front of Jamey; I don't want to upset him.

We had a really nice last dinner. Jamey's favorite: chicken parm with spaghetti, salad, and brocoli. His girlfriend Kirsten ate over too; and I bursted out crying while saying goodbye to her. You not only miss your own kid; you also miss their girlfriend and friends in general hanging out at your house. Yes, it's gonna be mighty quiet around here.

I think we're bringing too much stuff. After getting everything finally packed tonight, I feel like it's just too much to start off. I better get up extra early and see if I can consolidate a little.

I've got to hold it somewhat together tomorrow. I don't want to stress Jamey out. How am I ever gonna do this? THIS IS MY BABY!!!!! Somebody help me please . . .

2 Days and counting . . .

Til Jamey goes to college. Yesterday was another good mommy and me day for us. I didn't have to work, so we basically spent the day picking out clothes to pack, organizing them, doing laundry as necessary, etc. We looked through pictures taken this summer and had some prints made. I plan on putting together a small album for him to take with him, JUST IN CASE he is missing all of us. I ran the gamut of emotions yesterday; laughing, tearing up (not that he could see, don't want to upset him), worrying, feeling anxious, and then at the end of the day just loving the hell out of this baby boy of mine. I mean, its gottne so bad at one point during the day while sitting on the floor of his bedroom I actually teared up lookiing at the hairs on his legs!!! Crazy, I know, but understand: THIS IS MY BABY!!!

Anyway, we topped off the night by meeting our friends Peggy, my friend, and mother of Jeffrey, Jamey's friend. Through the years, since kindergarten, the four of us have had many many adventures together. It was only fitting that we should have this 'last supper' together, the four of us. We went to one of our favorite pizza restaurants where the pizza crust is paper thin and it comes out of the oven piping hot and bubbly. The conversation was lively, and every now and again I would just glance over to Peggy, reading the anxiety in her face and measuring it with my own, - she was taking Jeffrey to Maryland today to move him in on Friday. Jeffrey is her baby too - she is feeling much the same way as me. We have mommed them for so long, and I mean mommed them! We spoke for a few minutes on this subject, and I'm sure Peggy and I will revisit it time and time again once these boys are gone.

Today as I was driving home thinking about college AGAIN, I was wondering: whose idea was it anyway that kids should go away? Not mine, that's for sure. Wish me luck . . .

4 Days and Counting . . .

til Jamey goes off to college. What a tough week for both him and I. Sunday was a great mommy and me day though. We pursued a spur of the moment idea to go up to Woodbury Commons Outlets and do some pre-college shopping. The main reason for going was to get him some kind of all purpose, all weather jacket which he could layer over his North Face fleece in the dead of Winter. We got the jacket and proceeded on to the Nike outlet, Jamey's ultimate favorite. We were in there for quite a while; when we were ready to leave, of course, unexpectedly, the skies opened up to a torrential downpour. We were both in shorts and t-shirts, with no other cover of any kind. Except for Jamey's all weather jacket. Needless to say, he wouldn't put it on, guess he wanted to keep it fresh for school (something I would do also). After waiting for as long as we both had the patience for, we decided to make a run for it. Our car was quite a distance away from where we were; we knew we were going to get soaked to the skin. And we did; what a sight we were! Mother and Son running in the rain, dodging huge puddles, water literally running down our faces. It was refreshingly fun, and a special memory in the making for us, although I didn't even realize it at the time. It didn't hit me til much later on at home. Yes, I'll definitely freeze that moment in my bottomless pit of a child-memory bank. And yes, in the days weeks and months to come, I'll recall it with longing for my college son.
Last night I fell asleep at about 10:30 but woke up an hour later to brush my teeth and get a drink of water. Once I climbed bck into bed, I couldn't go back to sleep, which is so unusual for me. I am a great sleeper, but this was not to be last night. I tossed and turned, worrying about Jamey, worrying about me without him, just thinking and worrying in a vicious cycle of non-sleep. I guess I finally drifted off about 2:00am; but even then, did not sleep in my usual rock-sytle; it was very light and broken, a really crappy night's sleep. I know in my heart that he'll be fine. And I guess I will too, eventually. This is just one really tough week. Stay tuned.

Countdown is On . . .

A week from tomorrow we take Jamey to college. Yikes, how did this happen? I am freaking out; how can my baby be going to college?

I think about it every day even before my eyes are open. It's the last thing I think about before drifting off to sleep. I know I'm not alone; I've spoken to several moms who are also loosing their babies to college this year. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones cause at least Charles is back home for a while. Momming him should take up some time and keep me busy.

It's just that I'm worrying about Jamey being there. I'm worried about me here without him. I'm so used to having him around; and with four years age difference between him and Charles; it's been only him home for four years (give or take some time that the girls were home). I guess it's safe to say I'm spending a good deal of time just plain worrying. And the crying I'll be doing; you can bet your bottom dollar there will be plenty of that. I just hope I can hold it together at least til I get in the car after we drop him off.

Ughhh - whose idea was it anyway for kids to go away to college without their moms????

High Alert - Momaholic Style

It's me. I'm on high alert, kid alert, right now for two reasons and their names are Charles and James. First, Charles is flying to Paris today to play basketball with his college team. I didn't realize it until today that today is Friday the 13th. I don't consider myself to be a superstitious person by nature; however, flying on Friday the 13th, just in case, would not be a choice I would make. He didn't happen to put the two together until today either. Needless to say, he left with my rosary beads in tow - just in case he needs them. I'm happy for him and all the experiences he'll have, but nervous all the same. The momaholic in me just doesn't feel comfortable when my kids are so far away, can't help it.

Second reason for high distress is that I also woke with the realization that two weeks from tomorrow we will be moving Jamey into college for the first time. YIKES!! I am not ready for this at all mentally. I'm holding it in too, which is even worse. I hope I can hold it somewhat together for his sake, and that of the rest of the family. This could prove to be a very long two weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Oh God, it's 9:25 and Charles takes off in 5 minutes!! I know that I won't get much sleep, that goes without saying. I'll just say a quick prayer for a safe flight - Godspeed my sweet Charles! And have a good time. Tear up Paris a little for me . . .

!!! Think Twice Before Returning!!!

I bought a cute shirt about a month ago. Ruffled tiers of different fabric, but made out of t-shirt knit. The kind you could wear with jeans or dress it up. I wasn't sure whether to keep it or return it, and decided on the latter. It was in my car, and Rachele happened to be home and we were going to that store. When I showed her what was in the bag, she advised me not to return it, telling me how cute she thought it was. I guess you all know by now that nine times out of ten, I listen to Rachele (classic who's the mother and who's the daughter role reversal). Needless to say, I kept it.

About a week later, our neighbors were having a little Saturday night get-together. I thought the shirt would look cute with cropped white jeans that I salvaged from Kristin's throw-out pile (never worn) that happened to fit me really well. Finishing off the outfit were flat sparkle sandals (another Rachele-advised purchase). I really liked the way all the pieces came together and felt stylish and very comfortable.

I brought the outfit on our beach vacation thinking I might like to wear it again. Well, to make a long story short, I wore it to the parents/sisters dinner, and again to the dinner with our friends. It doesn't end here. I also wore it that Saturday night to Christine's party. Did I really wear the exact same thing three times in one week, and the same thing one week prior? Yessiree, I sure did. And I loved it all four times! It did not disappoint, in fact I would wear it again tomorrow if an event presented itself.

Moral of the story of course ladies is - think twice before you return something you originally liked enough to purchase. Oh, and yes, Rachele, you were right again!

Birthday Girl

!Happy Birthday Sugar! This past Saturday, the day we got home from the beach, was Christine's birthday, a special birthday, and I was thrilled to be able to see her. Usually we are on vacation on her birthday, but this year it just worked out.

Christine, you are my special beauty girl. You look absolutely fabulous, a good ten years younger than you are, and I'm not just saying it! Keep up the good work - Love, Plum

The Beach

Who doesn't love the beach? We just got back from a week at LBI - Jersey Shore, and it was such a great vacation. Friends of ours are also there, and two of my sisters also rent a house for the week. All the cousins come, and family friends, it's just one big party. And then there's the beach. It's magical, no matter which beach you happen to be at. It's a force of nature too mystical, too powerful to understand. It's mesmerizing, isn't it?

Anyway, this year my parents came and stayed at our beach house. It was so much fun having them. It brought me back to many years ago when they rented a beach house every year in Ocean Beach. I kind of felt like a little kid again. I hope they can come next year too. The week goes by so quickly, and with so many people there with us, it's hard to do everything that you'd like to do while you're there. This year, though, I made sure I did the important things.

The first important thing was making sure my parents came. They also managed to have a good time, and relax a little too. This made me really happy.

Next was to make sure I spent some alone time with my friend Dar. When we're home, it's hard to see each other because of our work schedules. (Have to try a little harder with this.) Anyway, we had a nice heart-to-heart over a morning cup of coffee. An hour very well-spent.

Had to go to Cafe Bacio, a really cool and delicious dessert-only place. I had no trouble at all polishing off a giant marshmellow chocolate cupcake. I even went back later in the week for a take-out and a frozen hot-chocolate! Yummy.

Important to take my parents out to dinner with my sisters. Delicious Italian food surrounded by family, a great night. So glad we went.

Long overdue, a dinner with our friends Janet and Jeff. Another delicious meal, and then back to their gorgeous house where the kids were partying up a storm, really having a good time, as were we. The stuff memories are made of.

The rest of the week was comprised of bike riding with Kristin, walking with Rach and my Mom, cooking, shopping, and spending lots of time on the beach.

Were there some things that I didn't get to do? Sure, I wish I could have stayed just a couple of days longer. But then again, there's always next year.

MIA

Hey remember me? Seems like just yesterday that I was apologizing for not blogging for a while. Here I go again. I guess I could offer up a million and one excuses, none of them really valid, but here goes.
Charles' computer was broken, so he was busy using mine for all this time for business. Okay, so I could have used another computer, right? Yes, we've been busy too - family busy. But isn't everyone? A good blogger would be typing away about all the so-called busyness, wouldn't they? As always, my mind blogs away, every day, about tons of interesting ordinary occurences. It's just sitting down to type it all. I must make more of an effort. And I will. I promise.