I Live and die by the Ball . . .

The basketball. A little dramatic? Let me explain, but first a disclaimer:
I cannot be held responsible for the feelings I am about to expose. Please don't judge me.

Now, as some of you know, I am nearing the end of this basketball season. I say "I" instead of "they" (the "they" being Charles and James, the actual players) because I am their mom, their very own basketball mom who has arranged her life to revolve around basketball games since the boys were in early grammar school. Let me further explain. When your kids are young and play sports, everything is fun - light - even though somewhat competitive, it is mostly just fun. When the sport is played in high school and better yet college, it is even more exciting and fun - but in my case, it pretty much rules my life. My boys are four years apart, and are now in their senior years of play; James high school and Charles college. Between the two boys, we go to 4 - 5 games a week, rarely with any conflicts.
This is how game day goes for me, and moms out there, feel free to substitute whatever sport your kid plays with basketball and see if you identify with any of these bizarre uncontrollable feelings. Okay, so I wake up like any other day. However, for most of the entire length of time until I arrive at the game, I agonize over whether my boys will "show-up" or just go through the motions. I have butterflies in my stomach most of the day. I don't eat very much because I can't. My daughters, who by the way think I'm off my rocker, lovingly refer to this as "mom's basketball diet" when they question why my jeans are so baggy on me. Crazy, right? But I can't help it. I just can't. Anyway, before game time I text Charles good luck and tell him we're on our way and that I love him. For James I kind of nag the crap out of him about "playing hard" "shooting enough" "showing a high level of energy" etc. I do it in a super-loving mom sort of way, but sometimes he is still annoyed. I guess I don't blame him. So now it's game time. We sit with the other parents and chat away. I basically watch the game twilight zone style. Yes, there are ups and downs to these games; mostly I hope these boys of mine will just go out there and play to their ability. Well, sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. My mood for the rest of the evening and sometimes the next day will depend on their decision. I have had some of the biggest thrills of my life watching my boys play. But then I have been know to take to my bed in a frantic crying jag complete with the oncoming migraine. For me, nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. Crazy, right? Maybe. But again, I can't help it. I know that there are far more important things to worry about; major issues in the world, etc., etc., I get it. But from November to March, this is it for me (with the small intervention of Christman crazies). And I know I'm not alone in this, come on moms or dads or sisters or brothers - come clean. If I can, you can.
As all consuming and crazy as this season is, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I've written this basketball blog a thousand times in my head since November; emotions wild, somedays it was called "I hate basketball" and somedays it was called "I love basketball". I'm glad I waited. For a while, whatever time we have left in this season, basketball will be life for us. Enjoy it my boys, we're winding down. I'll be there screaming, cheering, until the last second of the very last game.